Deconstructing the Long Distance Lover Con Game

There is now an emotional bond between the artist and his mark. He has built rapport with her so rapidly and estab­lished such a strong base of common­ality that it seems like a miracle. To the mark, the con artist is a Godsend, one in a million: someone who can under­stand her like no other man on this planet, someone who can take her spirit to places she has never known. She envi­sions this pure love. And now she wants to hear the voice of the man who she has fallen so deeply in love with.

The con artist is in London though…but it doesn’t matter, because love knows no bounds. The mark knows that he will be worth anything. Because the con artist is supposedly a strug­gling artist in London, complete with British accent, he cannot make his way across the pond. His charming accent lulls the mark into a sense of romance that she hasn’t felt in years. The perfect man that I could spend the rest of my life with, only to be found in London, she thinks.

The long distance rela­tionship is a dangerous one. There is a lot of psycho­logical and emotional energy spent on the love object. Even though the suitor isn’t phys­i­cally there, time is spent thinking about him. She begins wondering about him and fills in the blanks herself. She concep­tu­alizes and idealizes, creating an image of him that is far greater than he could really be. The mind is quite capable of finding patterns and filling in those blanks where nothing existed to begin with. This is quite evident in studies involving supposed psychics. People will tend to ignore inac­curate state­ments and latch onto the ones that are most insightful. The psychic will use this phenomenon to her advantage and read the positive feedback of correct state­ments in order to drill down deeper and deeper until it appears as though she is truly psychic. Think of it as a game of 20 Questions.

Back to the con game. The woman is enrap­tured by the charm of a British artist. They begin talking about meeting each other. The strug­gling “artist” (con artist that is) strikes when she is weak: the chance of a lifetime is about to pass her by if she doesn’t take action. He tells her that he needs money to move to the United States to come be with her, the love of his life. He promises that once he settles down in the States that he will pay her back as soon as possible.

Having targeted Christian women, who are however more likely to hand over their money to someone in need, he increases his chances of success. He preys on Christian generosity and good will, but this will work on just about anybody who is even remotely romantic with a touch of kindness in their heart. If all it took was $2000 to secure the absolutely perfect love of your life, someone who you could never have even dreamt of hoping for, wouldn’t you do it? Espe­cially when $2000 is only half a month’s pay.

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