Strong values, weak wills

06 Jul 2009 in Articles  [print]  

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

There are plenty of people on this earth who have strong values. There are many people who believe in monogamy, absti­nence from sex, drugs, and alcohol. Many adhere to a reli­gious system, following the Ten Command­ments. Some people ask a simple question when in doubt of how to conduct them­selves: “What would Jesus do?”

Looking across the land­scape of America, it appears that the vast majority of people who have what we might call “good old fash­ioned family values” are reli­gious. Whether they’re Lutherans, Roman Catholics, Jews, or Muslims, these people who strive to live a virtuous life are often living their life in accor­dance to their religion. They draw their moral strength from their god. They rely on scrip­tures and the ancient teachings of a central figure of importance.

And that is what makes me nervous. I am no expert on theology but I believe that being humble, respectful to your elders, generous to others, and loving towards your neighbor are all virtues that are extolled in one way or another by all major reli­gions. That a person needs to draw the strength required to live his life in virtue from some deity that may or may not exist is, in my eyes, a form of weakness.

Religion has its place. And instead of getting into an argument about whether or not God exists, or whether or not reli­gions are a sham, I will say this: religion can be a crutch. For those whom humility, respect, and love do not come natu­rally, but for whom such virtues must come from without, and enforced by the fear or submission to a higher supreme being, I ask you this: without your Bible, without your God, could you live in virtue? Without your faith and submission, would you have the strength to do the right thing?

I know of many reli­gious people who do what is right because they believe that doing the right thing will get them some kind of reward in the afterlife. They abide by the rules set forth by their religion because to break these rules would anger or disap­point their God, and they would be moving further away from that reward.

I do what is right because it will benefit people here on this earth. I have my own reasons for living the way I do. I abide by my own code of conduct and hold myself up to my own stan­dards, stan­dards set by myself and not a set of rules forced upon me by any society, culture, or religion.

A man is lying on the ground, bleeding from the head and moaning. A Christian man passes by. He may stop and help the man, perhaps he may even take him to his home to tend to his injuries. But what is his moti­vation? He is moti­vated because he feels that it is the right thing to do. Why is it the right thing to do? He may believe that helping this injured man is what Jesus would do. It is what a “good Christian” would do.

I, on the other hand, do so out of the compassion for my fellow man. I know that if I was injured, I would want someone to help me. I know that this man needs medical attention, and because all life is precious, I should do every­thing in my power to help him.

I learned the value of compassion some­where along the journey of my life. I may have been exposed to Chris­tianity throughout my life, but by no means do I believe in God and Jesus Christ in the way that a baptized Christian would. I do not pray, I do not worship, I do not read the Bible, and I can only recall half of the Ten Command­ments. But I do strive to live as a good person. Some might call it a “Christ-like life”, but I find that it has nothing to do with Jesus Christ. It is a more basic goodness. Love, compassion, and kindness are basic values of morality. And they can have nothing to do with the worship of a deity.

Let me end this by saying that I’m not claiming to be someone who leads a perfectly Christ-like life. I’m no priest. I do curse when talking with my male peers (never around women or elders). I do look at pornog­raphy. I am not an indus­trious person every last second of my life. But like Ben Franklin, I believe I am a far better person for trying to live a virtuous life and to adhere to a code of conduct using my own disci­pline and willpower. Is it so much to ask to meet such like-minded people?

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{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }

1 goodheart July 21, 2009 at 1909

I agree about being a good person by feeling and knowing what is right not by reading something but through life experience and having compassion. I am the same way. BUT there are things that we do not have experience or knowledge of and this is where some research may help. You look at pornography? Do you know what percentage of those individuals you are watching were abused or have mental health or drug issues??? Sex is for people who share love… it is a special thing, not to be perverted… or impure. You ruined your whole text/argument by adding that ignorant comment and doing what you do. You still have some searching to do; as we all do… good luck :)

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2 Wistful Writer July 21, 2009 at 2206

Thanks goodheart for reading and commenting!

Instead of addressing your views on pornography (a debate which can really only end in stalemate), I’ll explain why I ended with that paragraph.

I don’t believe that my admittance of watching pornography ruined anything at all. The point was to be honest and to ensure that I am not putting myself on a high horse. I want to make it perfectly clear that I am not a perfect person. I do not lead a perfect life. If I ended this without balancing it out with the fact that I have very human faults, I would come off as a self-righteous preacher on my high white horse, casting my judgmental glare upon all those below me.

I needed to show that I am only human. Despite the fact that I have very normal flaws, I have the discipline and willpower to live according to a code of conduct, and that is my real point: I don’t rely on God and a threat of hell or reward of heaven to keep me in adherence to a code of conduct. Because at the end of the day, when someone thinks that God isn’t looking, or forgets that God is watching, he will slip up and behave in a way that deviates from his code.

But anyway, it’s always good to hear that there is someone out there like me.

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