Different strokes for different folks

In ‘Sex and the City,’ number of sex partners true to New York life

I was strug­gling when I read this article and some of the comments. I was debating whether or not I ought to even write on this. After all, different people have different values.

Call me a prude, but I don’t require a “porn star” sexual expe­rience to sustain a beau­ti­fully romantic rela­tionship. Good for you gonesurfin, you found a girl who can turn you on. But I don’t know…I respect other people, but I can’t help but be rubbed the wrong way by his point of view. “But without that first erotic spark, we would have been doomed.” What the fuck? Doomed? Oh no, the sex is bad! I can’t fall in love with her!

What the fuck is that? Sex is sex, and love is love. Sex can be great and all, but if you’re basing love off of sex, I’ve got to say, you have your heart in the wrong place. He says that “all sex is based on the possi­bility that there will be a growing common­ality that will be infused with emotion, tenderness, and possibly spir­i­tu­ality.” Fucking horseshit. Don’t talk for everyone. Sex means different things to different people. Some people can’t have sex unless they’re in love. Some people have sex for purely physical reasons. And then there’s people in between.

Christopher London (London in NY) has the right idea. We live in a society of instant grat­i­fi­cation. We choose breadth over depth. it’s a shame, and it is most certainly a trend that will be hard to reverse, if not impos­sible. I worry about finding the right woman because of the growing number of women who find it okay to have sex and be promiscuous.

I’m all for pleasure and having sex. But there is such a thing as excess. Malissa, who used to be my friend, had once told me of a situ­ation she had. Her friends were telling her that if she didn’t screw around now that it’d come back and bite her later down the line when she was married. Needless to say, I didn’t agree with her friends.

In my eyes, when you get married, you will have all the time in the world to screw around with each other. Malissa seemed unsure of her own stance and whether or not they would end up being right. That would be a terrible shame if they did end up being right because infi­delity is some­thing that doesn’t sit well with me at all.

Reining back in on promis­cuity. I think it’s disgusting. I was not raised in a reli­gious household, and I am barely affected by Christian thinking. I just find it wrong, plain and simple. I won’t judge anybody who is promis­cuous: that is their business, and if they choose to have sex with a boatload of people so be it. But for me to consider someone as a potential partner, a future wife, the ability to keep your pants on is para­mount. Honestly, I don’t see what the problem is with using your own hands. I know, it’s not the same. But say we have eighty years to live, and we get married at thirty. That’s fifty years of all the fucking, sucking, licking, and whatever the hell else you’re into. I believe sex is some­thing that can be learned. Sex is a skill. With expe­rience and time, a husband and wife can learn how to pleasure each other. What is this horseshit I hear about variety? Different strokes for different folks I suppose…me, I find what I like and I stick with it. If I like a certain pair of shoes, I’ll buy three of them. Shirts? Three please. Every­thing I like I should buy in trip­licate. Glasses, jeans, pants, anything that is suscep­tible to being taken off the market. Hell, even my under­shirts. When I like some­thing, it’s going to stick. I’m not a fickle person. I know what I like, and I stick with it. Simple.

No matter what people say, I am a strong believer that doing some­thing special all the time makes things less special. That’s why you only treat your kid to an ice cream cone every once in a while. That’s why you don’t send your girl­friend or wife a bouquet of flowers every week. That’s why you don’t eat a steak and potatoes dinner every night. That’s why you don’t cele­brate Mother’s Day every month. That’s why Christmas comes only once a year. If you fuck every night, it’s bound to get to be boring after a month. It’s called saving yourself.

The sad thing is that in a world full of educated women, it takes an exotic dancer to speak the truth: sex should be special.