Unbelievable. It may or may not be evident, so I’ll just go ahead and say this for the record: I am not a homosexual. “Not that there’s anything wrong with it!” We all know I use a variety of internet dating sites. Most of them involve filling out a profile and then setting up your preferences: ethnicity, age, distance, body type, profession, etc. One of the most important ones: what gender you are looking for. I clearly stated that I am a Man seeking a Woman. And somehow, Match.com thought it would be funny to imply that my miserable rate of success of online dating just might be solved if I would turn gay.
See, I had decided to finally return to my account at Match.com. Both eHarmony and Chemistry were not yielding any form of contact whatsoever. I looked over my profile to check that it still reflected who I am. It did, so I clicked on the mutual matching link. And lo and behold.
There was a photo of a man.
He was okay looking. A black fellow with glasses and an average grin.
Unfortunately, I’m not attracted to men. I’m sure I would make a lovely and very qualified homosexual bachelor, but I’m just afraid that I’m not inclined towards a life of anal sex, neither receiving nor giving. I was pretty outraged. I’m not homophobic and I’ve got nothing against homosexuals. But c’mon. I clicked on mutual matches. So what’s with the gay guy?
I suppose I’m going to have to write in about that. It seems pretty absurd to me, unless they’re purposefully playing some kind of cruel trick on me.
