I find that faith (in the religious sense) can often be an exercise in finding patterns and attributing them to a higher power. This is one case where those who were so inclined might make an exampleof such faith.
Due to a recent small conversation that incited a moment of reflection, a feeling that felt a lot like depression started creeping back up on me. It wasn’t a full blown depression of the wrist slashing nature, but I was reminded of a particular emptiness in my life. Not a big deal. Even so, I lost my balance, and neither go-karts nor jerking off in the bathroom of a fast food restaurant could center me.
I wake up a couple of days ago and turn to my Logitech Pure-Fi Anytime Premium Alarm Clock to check my iPhone. As I reach over, the phone starts sounds off with the gentle crescendo of a piano. It’s Luanne! I pick up. Being in the neighborhood, she was going to stop by. I hurriedly threw on a pair of jeans and styled my hair as best I could in the short amount of time I had: she was only blocks away. Unsatisfied with my hair but pressed for time, I opened the door and greeted one of my best friends. A small exchange later, I went back in to throw on a shirt to wear over my T-shirt and she and I (along with her freshly minted husband) mosey along for a short walk and talk, including a trip to a supermarket. And though our conversation was far too brief for all that we had to catch up on, it served to nudge me in the right direction. Her welcome visit took away any momentum my own personal demons may have been gaining in its resurfacing to my consciousness.If I were religious, I’d say that this is a sign from God, telling me that my friends have not forgotten me, that my life is not as hollow as it may appear. I’d say that God really is looking out for me, and that he does indeed have a plan for me. Alas, I am not religious. Instead of taking comfort in a heavenly father who cares for me always, I just take it as a very coincidental and fortuitous reminder that I still have people in my life who I care about, and who care about me. I can tell myself that everything will be alright.