Being happy for others

Alone…I’d be better off. Rela­tion­ships are too confusing.
–Dexter Morgan

Rela­tion­ships are messy by nature. In all that I have observed…I do not feel comforted in the world of dating or having relationships.

I often validate the person’s feelings by mirroring what they say. This is in effect a question: am I right by saying that you feel this way because of such and such reasons? However, it appar­ently is some­times not appre­ciated, and as a result, I step back and let the person dwell and stew.

I cannot under­stand why people cannot genuinely move on and be happy for the ex’s. I have seen on many occa­sions the feeling of jealousy or sadness when one party becomes saddened when their old partner finds someone new. It is most natural and expected to feel that way…after all, you shared beau­tiful moments between you two, and there was that special connection that is now being replaced.

However, putting myself in those shoes, I could not imagine being sad or jealous for more than a moment. The happiness of others is an over­riding prerog­ative, far greater than that of nostalgia or envy. Mental prowess is my strong suit, and I have great comfort in having the willpower to exercise complete control over what goes on in my head.

Why dwell on the past? Recognize your reality and the reality of your ex. If there was any semblance of love in the rela­tionship, then it should be of no question that their welfare and happiness is greater than feeling upset or sad. upon learning that they have found a new love in their life. In true love there should be neither jealousy nor guarded emotions. This makes no sense to me. It appears as though there is no closure or emotional resolution…in which case the prudent thing would be to find closure before moving on. Why people cannot handle them­selves in these types of situ­a­tions is beyond me…I am not free of psycho­logical issues but am more than capable of success­fully navi­gating my own emotions. It is clear that the emotions are still there for the ex, and that there is still some kind of longing. Some kind of desire. And therein lies the danger of lack of closure: open doorways lead to oppor­tunity. That means affairs and broken hearts. People are weak and lack vision. It is disap­pointing and frankly my disdain is on the rise.

Yes, this is pretty much a rambling, it is neither cohesive nor profound, but simply a disor­ga­nized state of mind.