Loneliness (Part something of many)

To walk the earth amongst billions, yet apart, alone. Is it not a fear worthy of worry? To smile warmly and say hello, yet feel emptiness and falsehood. Is it not a fate worthy of avoiding? There is comfort in solitude, but there is only so much happiness derived from oneself…the human spirit yearns to reach out. We are inher­ently social crea­tures. There is strength in self-sufficiency, but there is only so much that one can feed on from within.

We all have an inherent need for someone to under­stand us. Someone who under­stands us is someone who vali­dates us. They identify us as a human being who exists as a part of society and not someone who merely exists in society. It is exciting to meet that someone who shares the same values that we do and lives the same philosophy that we do. It tells us that we are not alone.

But is there really such a thing as a kindred spirit? Why does it seem to be so difficult to find one? I do not feel as though there are many out there who share my ideals. At heart, I am a romantic. I believe in the mystery and wonder of the world. I do not feel that we should boil every­thing down to a science, breaking every­thing down into nuts and bolts and calcu­lating things to the cent. Emerging in popular psychology are scien­tific studies on love and mate choice, but I do not feel that we can break down a marriage into a matter of one’s MHC. I do not feel that we should attribute falling in love to the addiction of sero­tonin. The magic of love is not a chemical reaction but an emotional connection. Every­thing is dissected and analyzed with electron micro­scopes under cold blue fluo­rescent lights. Our world is quickly turning into one concerned only about the bottom line. Wealth is the defining measure of success. Inter­na­tional corpo­ra­tions now wield a great deal of power. They in turn perpetuate the cycle of self-interest.

Society reflects this self-interest. We have become increas­ingly selfish and isolated. The prevailing mentality is that of egocen­trism. To look out for oneself is to be wise, to care for another’s welfare is to be a fool. Our own needs are above all others, and we are never wrong. Even with the versatile tech­nology we have today, we are out of touch with one another more so now than ever. We have become obsessed with celebrities because we are no longer close to each other and therefore find the need to talk about someone familiar. I don’t care when Britney’s next period is, I don’t care that Ms. Lohan looked ridiculous coming out of her short jail sentence. It is dehu­man­izing to see that rela­tives get together only to talk about who should win on American Idol, who should get fired on The Apprentice, and just how surprised they were to see that man die off in Lost.

There is very little reprieve for intel­lec­tuals in this world…more and more romantics are giving up, finding the pressure of society to be too great: fitting in becomes less and less of an option. It is turning into a necessity. Idealists fall and shape them­selves to the mold of society, becoming what they expect of them. There are no more great thinkers, no more philoso­phers. Passion is beat down as obtrusive. There are no more artists, no more inventors. We have become a stagnant race of shapeless people, one person­ality indis­tin­guishable from the next. We are sheep, our shep­herds false.

Perhaps it is not comfort but solace that is found within…perhaps it is not strength but survival that is found from solitude. Lone­liness cannot exist exter­nally, for it is created by your own mind. In that case, perhaps I need only to look more care­fully. But I suspect that the more deeply I search, the more disap­pointment I will feel. At least I will be all the more delighted when I find a kindred spirit.