I was strolling along with my friend Linda this cool summer evening. As usual, she had much to say, and much of it revealing. She had mentioned her friend, who has been dating for ten years now. One might find her to be a veteran of matters of the heart, or at the very least a weathered and experienced soldier on the battlefield of love (yeah, laugh it up, that’s pretty cheesy). Anyway, one weekend when she was at some upstate cabin with her girlfriends, she made an extremely disheartening discovery: all of them had at some point cheated on their significant other. One was even about to get married to the man she cheated on.

Linda put it best when she repeated a saying, “It’s not if they’re going to cheat, it’s when they’re going to cheat.” Perhaps it is this simple statement that will finalize my giving up on searching for true love.

It is true that monogamy is incredibly rare in the animal kingdom. I believe that penguins are one of the very few creatures capable of such loyalty and dedication. It appears that popular evolutionary science has laid claim that monogamy may be counterproductive. Some theories claim that females will attract alpha males to breed with while having a male of lower status provide for and raise the offspring. Other theories say that infidelity is really just a way of diversifying our gene pool. However, I feel that all of these absurdities are based on assumptions of a particular type of “natural man”, or man and woman at their most basic and animal compulsions. These theories give the impression that humans are not a species capable of monogamy.And I am inclined to agree. Although I would like to believe that humans are transcendent enough to ignore such prehistoric impulses, it would probably be naive of me to do so. It seems amazing enough to me that human race has gone from the Neanderthal to the high-tech people we are today. If we can invent electricity, wireless communications, and travel to other planets, why can’t we learn how to keep our pants on?It makes me wonder whether or not I should pursue the ever elusive everlasting love that Carl Carlton describes. I know I am most capable of giving it. I’m the type of person who is reliable and rock solid. Perhaps predictable in some ways. For example, if I see a pair of shoes that I like, I purchase it in triplicate. Shirts, undershirts, boxer shorts, socks, sweaters, jeans…if I find something I like, I stick with it. I feel the same way about women.

Yes, there will always be that thought in your head, “What if?” Could the grass be greener on the other side? Well, actually, not for me. If I’m happy with what I’ve got, I see no reason to change it. Changing it up means a risk of losing what I already have. Yes, I do take risks, but they are measured risks, calculated so that my decision will more than likely yield improvements.

In my experience, both men and women can’t seem to hold on to a good thing. Several times women have paid me the compliment that I would be a really good boyfriend for them. I have no qualms that I can make a lucky woman very happy some day. The only question is whether or not there is one that is smart enough to let me make them happy.

According to my friend’s account of her friend’s experience at a discreet clinic, infidelity is incredibly prevalent. Even the most unlikely of people cheat. It’s very depressing. It’s no wonder that I have become increasingly cynical and embittered. I am becoming disillusioned with my world. I once thought that a true and pure love was possible. One where unfaltering loyalty and faithfulness would sustain and increase one other’s love.

I have full confidence that I can give my love to a woman completely and entirely. Whether I fall in love easily or over time, once it happens, my heart is hers. My love is hers to lose. I know that at the end of the day, to have someone who will be there for you without fail, to have someone who loves you completely whether you’re fat or skinny, tall or short, blonde or bald…that is the most important thing. I haven’t seen many people who understand that. I’ve seen even fewer people who I feel are capable of such undying loyalty and love. I seek security. In a fully committed monogamous relationship, there should be nothing that cannot be achieved. Under the security of the union of marriage, husband and wife should be able to reach heights of joy otherwise unimaginable. I am not implying that it is easy, but I recognize the rewards of a committed relationship.

I’ve never been afraid of commitment, and I am always honest. What you see is what you get. I am also reliable, as reliable and consistent as humanly possible. I always make that effort. I find strength in my ability to remain steadfast to my principals and my commitments. I believe that it’s one of the most important qualities a real man should have: the strength to stick to his guns.

I see less and less real men nowadays. Adult males are often lacking in moral strength, integrity, and honor. Strong values of hard work, common sense, and courtesy are often lacking. Discipline and self-control are absent. Respect towards your fellow man is dwindling. I retain all these qualities that I deem to be important. The only problem is, will I ever find a woman to be the mother of my children, the children to whom I wish to pass on such values?

Really, all I’m looking for is just one woman to give my heart to. I want to find someone who has the strength and sensibility to remain faithful. I want to find someone who understands what a committed relationship is, and the joys that it can bring with just a little bit of work…

I’m rather tired, so perhaps I haven’t been as organized as I could be. I intend to write more on the subject of infidelity. But for now, this will have to do. Off to catch a couple of winks.