INT. HOME IN THE SUBURBS — AFTERNOON — 1953
Johnny, 13 years old, an all-American kid. He’s just found out about girls, and he’s having a bout of puppy love. Johnny comes home from school. His mother lets him have a couple of fresh baked cookies and a glass of milk. A couple of hours later, his father comes home from work.
JOHNNY
Hey Dad, how was work?
DAD
Work was good son, how was school?
JOHNNY
Great. Hey Dad, can I ask you a question?
DAD
Sure Johnny. What is it?
JOHNNY
There’s this girl in school.
DAD
What’s her name?
JOHNNY
Jane.
DAD
And you like her, is that it?
JOHNNY
Yeah. How do I ask her out? Like, you know, on a date?
DAD
Well son, when I asked your mother out…
INT. HOME IN THE SUBURBS — NIGHT
It is Friday night. Johnny followed his father’s guidance and comes home from his date with Jane. He is happy.
DAD
Hey son! How was your date with Jane?
JOHNNY
It was really good, we had a great time. Hey Dad? Can I ask you a question?
DAD
Sure Johnny. What is it?
JOHNNY
How do you kiss a girl?
DAD
Do you really like this girl Johnny?
JOHNNY
I sure do Dad. Jane’s great, she smart and she’s pretty!
DAD
Well son, when I first kissed your mother…
INT. HOME IN THE SUBURBS — AFTERNOON — 2009
JAKE, 13 years old, opens the door with his own key. He heads to the kitchen and takes out a Pop Tart, eating it without toasting it. He opens the fridge and pops open a can of soda. The house is empty, and he heads upstairs to his room, shutting the door behind him.
Jake plops into his chair and turns on his computer monitor. Several Instant Messenger windows are open. He starts chatting with MOLLY online.
JAKE
sup molly
MOLLY
hey u ;)
JAKE
sorry my friends were being stupid before
MOLLY
its okay
JAKE
so u remember wut we were talking about?
MOLLY
it sounded like you were about ask me out on a date ;D
JAKE
yeah :P how does firday sound?
MOLLY
friday night is good, where do u wanna take me?
JAKE
wherever u like. how bout the mall?
MOLLY
sounds good ill see u at school tomorrow then :)
JAKE
cya :)
Jake exits the conversation. He opens up an internet browser. He goes to WikiHow and looks up, “How To Kiss”. He commits most of it to memory.
FADE TO BLACK
WikiHow — How to Kiss
I’m sure I’m simply disillusioned, but it sure seems popular for kids to seek advice on the Internet. Who knows how many boys lack a strong male role model in their life? Just take a look at Yahoo! Answers and message boards all over the place…young people are resorting to the Internet for their information, for guidance. What happened to the parents? What are parents doing wrong that their children cannot come to them for advice, but would rather read something posted by an anonymous figure on the Internet?
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I never realized the more serious implications of this; I’ve always just amused myself by reading ridiculous questions like this on Yahoo! Answers without thinking “wow something’s really fucking wrong here.”