Men like to embarrass themselves

I had already written a rant about guys who write flirtatious, needy, and otherwise very groveling remarks on any pretty girl’s YouTube video. Well, on Facebook, it’s no different. I cringe every time I see it done. It is incredibly embarrassing. So much that I literally blushed in the privacy of my own home. I kid you not. I blushed. And I am not the blushing type. I don’t even blush if I trip on a staircase in front of twenty people who start snickering. So when I blush, you know it’s pretty bad.

Facebook Losers
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I don’t understand what would compel any self-respecting man to post these types of comments. To any man who goes on Facebook to comment on how pretty he thinks a woman is, I ask you: do you really suppose that this woman is going to take an interest of you? Do you really think that making these comments will put you in her good graces, so that it may open a door of opportunity? Do you believe that these compliments will win her heart?

I say this in a British accent (something I have to work on): Have some self-control man! I hate to see men tripping over their feet over some pretty young thing. I hate it when men turn and stare, when men ogle women and salivate over some girl’s young nubile body complete with shapely thighs and a firm pair of perfectly shaped breasts. I shake my head at these men who would so readily make fools of themselves.It is entirely embarrassing to see this happen. I put my palm to my face and shake my head in derision. I wish guys would stop it. I wish they would just simply stop. Commenting on a girl’s photo is a lose-lose situation unless you are already friends with her. Think about it: if you are commenting on how pretty she is, that tells her several things. One, you are attracted to her. Two, you are on Facebook looking at the photos of some girl you barely know. Three, you could possibly be masturbating to them. And if you’re not a friend and not commenting on how pretty she is, then points two and three still apply. In both cases, you’re a loser.I may be a gentleman, but it doesn’t mean that I’m some sort of sexually repressed Puritan. To say that I am repressed would necessitate that those sexual thoughts and impulses exist in me, and that I am only suppressing them and denying my expression. Perhaps I am spoiled by living in New York City where the concentration of pretty women is fairly high, but honestly, beauty is common. I only wish that other men would begin to realize that so that they’ll stop making such abhorrently useless comments that reveal them to be enormously foolish and in obvious desperate need of female attention. Of course, one could say that I’m writing a useless rant and that I could’ve directed my own energies elsewhere, but hey, I’ve got to vent somewhere. Besides, I need to have another post in between paid blog posts.

  • Gary

    What's wrong with a compliment? Now, I'm not the kind of guy that hands them out like flyers, but I don't think there's anything wrong with compliments. I don't know about your two other points, but isn't it better to let someone know you find them attractive rather than withhold it? Of course, I'm not talking about people posting comments on myspaces and facebooks, as you are- it's not something I really notice, but I agree with you in that it's silly, but I'm not so sure about embarrassing.

    I think it's funny when I see men turn their heads whenever someone particularly attractive walks by on the street. It happens all time, and whenever I notice it, I can't help but to chuckle to myself in my head. Sometimes I'll even try to anticipate whenever it might happen. But embarrassing? Thats a little too much of an overreaction, I think. That can't be psychologically healthy- to be embarrassed by the actions of others, who themselves aren't even affected.

    See, this type of thing makes me wonder. I wonder if there are personality differences between men who would do such things and men who don't. Of course, then there are men who would do such things but don't- such as myself, because it's distasteful, but I wouldn't see how it's embarrassing? And those who do do it, obviously do not experiencing any sort of shame. I wonder what it is, testosterone differences maybe? Degree of self-monitoring? Or perhaps it has to deal with feelings of shame.

  • I think it's an overreaction to call my reaction a psychologically unhealthy. Imagine if your mother starts prancing down the street singing in a horrifically out of tune voice, screeching and scratching herself and otherwise making a big fool of herself. You are standing right next to her and your friends are ten feet away. She may not feel any shame or embarrassment, but you probably would. You would probably want her to stop her awful dancing act.

    If not that example, I can think of a hundred more like it. It does affect me anyway: other males are representative of my gender. How many times have you seen a woman cast a wide net by saying, "All men blah blah blah…"?

    You are right that there is nothing wrong with a straight compliment if it is given IN PERSON. And it must be delivered properly, as if one were appreciating a work of art, I'm not talking about those. I'm talking about the fools who trip all over themselves over a pretty woman, or the creep who can't control his lusty remarks . I am talking about men who give compliments in order to curry favor with the woman. It's fucking pathetic. It's a fact: women don't want a man who's going to worship the ground she walks on. And it's also a fact that other men will not respect him if he's the type to bend down to tie her shoelaces. But we're digressing: I'm mostly ranting about online compliments.

    As for the questions that you bring to light…I would suspect that all of the factors you mentioned play into it. Whatever the case, I still believe in maintaining a healthy amount of self-discipline and having some self-respect. Prostrating yourself to a female is unmanly and unbecoming of the male species. Not to be crude, but I highly doubt that this type of male gets laid. I say this with the conviction of someone who's had field experience in such matters.

  • Baller Jones

    What if I keep it subtle? Like if I'm with some friends and someone passes by our table and I make the "dat ass" face, or like 15 seconds after she passes by (ample time for her to get out of earshot) someone asks "you think she could get it?"

  • I don't even know what a "dat ass" face is. Mainly, I'm saying that I have far better things to do than waste my mental capacity on checking out girls.

  • Gary

    I agree with your opinion on it being lame to hand out compliments to strangers on the internet, trying to gain attention. I still, however, don't see why anyone would be embarrassed by the actions of others.

    Sure, we are all men, but men are such a large group. And I sure would be embarrassed if it was my mother, but not if it was someone I had absolutely no tie to, such as a stranger. Heck, I'm not even embarrassed when my friends do something that might fit the criteria you describe, especially the leering at women type. I just accept it as something that some people do, and that I don't partake in.

    Why do I say that it is psychologically unhealthy? Well, it just doesn't seem like an appropriate emotional response to something that really shouldn't elicit any. I say this very lightly and I'm not really trying to think too hard about this, but it sort of strikes me as the kind of attitude from someone who "takes themselves too seriously." Of course, I'm not asking you to change your reaction to things, just letting you know that there's yet another opinion to this matter.

  • Well I certainly know there's "another opinion to this matter", as there will always be a million more other than mine. Of course I understand that you "don't see" why one would be embarrassed. Perhaps I should illustrate with another example.

    Consider William Hung, a real humongous jackass and debacle of the Asian American community. I have heard on so many occasions that William Hung was an embarrassment to the Asian American community. Just Google "William Hung embarrass Asian". There are so many cultural aspects of the William Hung debacle, but mainly, it's that Asian Americans were embarrassed by him because of the way he represented other Asian Americans on national television, on a wildly popular show at that. Hung embarrassed both himself and the Asian American community. As you have said before, Asian American representation in popular media is disproportionately low, so with Hung's stunt, he "set Asians back" a long way, ruining the good image that Asian Americans tried so hard to cultivate, what with his clear lack of shame and awful singing abilities, in addition to his very stereotypical Chinese accent and looks. So in my case, replace Hung with idiotic men and the Asian American group with males as a group.

    And again, with "taking myself too seriously", it sure would seem that way from this blog, but again, this is just one platform of mine, only one side of me that's out there. Of course I don't go around feeling deeply embarrassed for all the men I see who hoot at women, and I don't spend every minute of the day hating the world like this blog might suggest. Otherwise I'd have dropped dead from a heart attack long ago lol