Honey, do you wanna fuck around first or just fuck?

Do we really need foreplay before sex? — by Char­lotte Martin, The Sun

I found this on my Google homepage under the Digg widget. I think this is stupid. These kinds of studies are stupid. As the article itself suggests, these studies may be misleading and the partic­i­pants misguided. I think the easiest solution is to just ask. If you and your partner are new to each other, it may not be so clear what is expected or desired. What better way to find out than by just asking? There are ways to do this without sounding like a total jackass. All you have to do is be creative and seductive in your wording. Even­tually, the goal is to develop this intimate rela­tionship to the point where you don’t have to ask each other, but can feel what one desires in that moment. Well, that’s ideally…I think most people will never get to this point, which is a shame. But even so, good commu­ni­cation is the best thing for a relationship.

I feel sorry for those people who look to studies to guide them in what to do in bed. Studies are gener­alized, showing with broad strokes what can only be appre­ciated with fine detail. What each indi­vidual finds erotic is, well, indi­vidual to that indi­vidual. And it almost certainly changes depending on various circum­stances, from how stressed they are to what fantasies they were having while in the office. If people could just take the time to really get to know their partner, there would be many many more happy couples.

Well, off to brew some tea…